Show Me the Meaning...
by Thayet D'Ragon
Summary: Another wonderful little angsty fic for poor Misao-chan....


"Show me the Meaning..."   
A Rurouni Kenshin songfic   
  
by Thayet D'Ragon   
  
{Show me the meaning of being lonely}   
  
Misao sat beneath the old sakura tree, idly playing with the falling petals. From here she could watch the front gate and most of the street.   
  
{So many words for the broken heart   
It's hard to see in a crimson love   
So hard to breathe   
Walk with me and maybe}   
  
Someone knocked on the front door to the Aoiya, making her jump. Her hear pounded...wishing...   
"Misao. You shouldn't just sit out here all day." Omasu came to crouch beside her, her gentle face showing concern. "He'll be back, don't worry."   
Misao forced a smile and stuck out her tongue at her. "I'm not worried, Omasu. I'm just waiting for him is all. He's late."   
Omasu smiled. "But Misao - he said he'd be most of the week. He never said when he'd return."   
Misao sighed. "Yeah, I know." She looked back down at the cherry petals in her hands.   
  
{Nights of light so soon become   
Wild and free I could feel the sun   
Your every wish will be done   
They tell me}   
  
"He said he'd be back before the cherry petals fall, Omasu. I just, ...I-"   
"You can't help but worry."   
Misao nodded, fighting back tears. "I know he'd never break a promise. Not intentionally. The petals are just dropping early, and I'm worrying over nothing. Right?"   
Omasu patted her shoulder. "Hai, he'll be hurrying back now, probably upset because nature played a trick on him." Misao couldn't help but giggle; she could imagine the look he'd be giving the tree when he got back. Omasu brightened. "You shouldn't be so serious, Misao-chan. It makes the rest of us worry."   
Misao made a face and stood haughtily, her nose high in the air. "That's 'Okashira' to you."   
The onmitsu grinned. "Hai, Okashira-sama." She stood also, but started back to the Aoiya proper. "Don't stay out all night, Misao. Come home whenever you're ready."   
Misao nodded, and watched her walk away. "Home..."   
  
{Show me the meaning of being lonely   
Is this the feeling I need to walk with   
Tell me why I can't be there where you are   
There's something missing in my heart}   
  
Misao wandered aimlessly through the busy Kyoto streets, not really caring where she went. she nodded politely to anyone who called her name, but remained caught up in her own thoughts.   
/Where does Aoshi-sama consider 'home'? It couldn't be the Aoiya, could it? But... he was gone for nearly a decade, where did her consider home during that time? Was it just with Hannya and the others, or did he have a place to call their own?/ She sighed, thinking of how many cities she'd searched through, looking for any sigh or word of her okashira. She'd followed any and every rumor and trail she had found for most of that time, unable to find them still. /I'm sure that if they'd stayed in one place long enough, I'd have found them. Did he think of us once he'd gone?/   
She smiled slightly, thinking of the red-headed rurouni she'd run into in the woods. She'd surprised herself when she didn't immediately throttle Himura-san when he'd mentioned he had met Aoshi-sama. She smiled at the memory, then dimmed.   
  
{Life goes on as it never ends   
Eyes of stone observe the trends   
They never say forever gaze... if only}   
  
He'd been so distant, even the first time she'd seen him, after he'd defeated Jiya. Cold and distant... mean, even. Not like the Aoshi-sama she remembered from her childhood. Distant he may have been, but never cold, and never mean. He never would have tried to hurt her, physically or verbally. Not like...   
She shook her head. That hadn't been him. The man who'd fought Himura, and Jiya, and even Shishio was *not* the same man she knew. Not the man who'd lovingly raised her and taught her the basics of Kempo with Hannya. Even then, he'd protested her being an onmitsu - he had wanted something better for her; but what, she couldn't imagine.   
  
{Guilty roads to an endless love   
There's no control are you with me now   
Your every wish will be done   
They tell me}   
  
She scowled at the first splash of rain on her nose, and headed towards the outlaying forests, seeking shelter from the chilling rain. Finding a large, overgrown evergreen, she swung up a few branches, hiding herself from any casual passerby.   
She buried her face in her arms, shutting out the wet world around her. The days and weeks, and eventually years of searching for *her* okashira were gone, but even now in his presence there was something to be desired. What could have changed Aoshi-sama so much? What made him leave that night, so long ago? And why did he leave her behind?   
Okay, so she *was* only a child at the time. But why didn't he return? Why didn't he come back when his mission was finished? Or even after the others were ...killed.   
She wiped away the tears trickling down her cheeks, blinking until her eyes were clear again. The least he could have done was sent word, so their deaths could have been avenged. She shook her head, stopping herself. She understood that he'd wanted to take care of that himself, but...   
Soft footsteps and squelching leaves beneath her branch warned her just a moment before the quiet, unemotional voice called her.   
  
{Show me the meaning of being lonely   
Is this the feeling I need to walk with   
Tell me why I can't be there where you are   
There's something missing in my heart}   
  
"Misao?"   
Misao scrubbed hastily at her face, knowing that for anyone else, it'd be obvious she'd been crying. A small voice inside of her wondered if *he'd* notice.   
She made sure her voice was steady before she called back. "Hai. Chotto."   
Jumping easily down from her perch, she offered Aoshi a wide smile. "You're back, Aoshi-sama. Okari!"   
Aoshi just looked at her as she quickly took in his appearance, and the parcels under his arm. He gave her a slight bow when her eyes finally came back to his. "Taidima, Okashira."   
Neither of them moved for a moment, Misao sighing softly. "Aoshi-sama, you don't have to call me that. I'm not-"   
"Yes, you are. You are the Oniwabanshu no Okashira."   
Misao rolled her eyes, turning away from him, her earlier thoughts still on her mind. "Whatever."   
She could hear his footsteps following behind her. "What does that mean?"   
Misao couldn't even bring herself to feel glad at his seemingly sudden curiosity.   
  
{There's nowhere to run   
I have noplace to go   
Surrender my heart, body and soul}   
  
Aoshi followed her only a few steps before stopping in the middle of the path. "Misao, do you want to talk?"   
She stopped abruptly, her entire body stiff and unyeilding. She gave him a terse "No" and started again.   
And stopped once more when she noticed Aoshi did not follow. "Are you coming?"   
Aoshi stood his ground. "Iie. Not until you tell me what's wrong."   
The catch in her voice was almost indecernable. "Who said anything was wrong? You're back, and we'll soon be home, and-"   
"Misao, yamero."   
She shook her head, refusing to face him. "I can't..."   
  
{How can it be you're asking me to feel   
The things you never show}   
  
Aoshi approached her, trying to ignore her flinch at his every step. "Misao..."   
"Why did you leave?"   
He stopped short. "Misao, you know why I left."   
She shook her head. "That's not what I meant. Why did you leave the Oniwabanshu? Or why did you split off? With...Hannya and the others."   
Aoshi didn't move, nor did he answer. Her shoulders slumped, her momentary courage gone. "I- I'm sorry, Aoshi-sama. It's not my place to ask, and I know you wouldn't answer me anyway..." She clasped a hand to her mouth and ran deeper into the woods, opposite the way back to the Aoiya.   
Concern for Misao overrode Aoshi's first instinct to stay where he was, not taking the time to puzzle out her last comment. He caught up to her easily, drawing her gently back from the ravine she had been ready to jump. She stood silently, not moving from his side, even when he turned her towards him.   
  
{You are missing in my heart   
Tell me why can't I be there where you are}   
  
"Misao."   
She flinched at his voice, but still refused to look up at him.   
Aoshi tilted her face up to him, surprised at her tears. "Misao, why are you crying?"   
She shook her head, throwing her arms around his waist. He held her loosely, unsure of this girl wrapped around him. Her softly mumbled words tumbled into his trenchcoat, apologies lost in the tears.   
  
{Show me the meaning of being lonely   
Is this the feeling I need to walk with   
Tell me why I can't be there where you are   
There's something missing (you are missing) in my heart}   
  
"I'm so sorry, Aoshi-sama. I shouldn't have done that." Misao looked up, teary-eyed from his coat, her arms still firmly attached around his waist. She sniffed and smiled at him through the last tears running down her chin. "Do you realize this is the first time I've gotten to hug you since I was little?"   
Where Misao was half-expecting him to draw back, she was pleasantly surprised when he didn't. His arms slowly lowered from her sides, as if unwilling to release her.   
He asked again, softly this time. "Misao, daijoubu?"   
Misao scrubbed an arm over her eyes, smiling at herself ...and him. "Hai, Aoshi-sama." She looked into his ice blue eyes and couldn't help but see the child-like confusion in them... along with the touching concern he'd always kept for her when she was little. Her smile grew broader as she realized the growing awareness in their light. "Hai, daijoubu, Aoshi-sama. Everything is all right now that you're home."   
  
{Show me the meaning of being lonely   
Is this the feeling I need to walk with   
Tell me why I can't be there where you are   
There's something missing in my... heart} 


End file.
